This joke's about Pastor John, but not necessarily any Pastor John that we know...

John was a minister who neglected his congregational duties on opening weekend to go
deer hunting. While out hunting, he stopped to take a break when suddenly he was confronted
by the largest, meanest looking bear he had ever seen. The bear stood and advanced on him,
popping its jaws and snarling. In his fear, John emptied his rifle without hitting the bear.
Dropping the gun, he turned and ran as fast as he could in a vain attempt to outrun the bear.
John ran up to the edge of a very steep cliff.
John was terrified and knew he was going to be attacked. Seeing no way out of his
predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, John got down on his knees, opened
his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear Lord! Please give this bear some RELIGION!" The skies
darkened and a bolt of lightning flashed. Just a few feet short of John, the bear came to abrupt
stop and glanced around, somewhat confused. He seemed to become very calm.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky, put his paws together, bent his head, and said
"Thank you, Lord, for the food I'm about to receive."
From www.whitetails.com